i have a new com. actually its not mine, its my mum's. n its ugly but usable. lots of new stuff inside. ibm. never had it b4. hope my ever irritating bro doesnt download some stupid game n crash the com lyk last time. gotta start studyin when my mum comes home. gah. rrli rrli need lots n lots of discipline to lie down n study n not fall asleep. needs lots of discipline for other stufff. rrli lack in it. gah. i'm so sick. not literally. my nose hurts.
~depressed~

growl... my com is in hospital so i have to survive using the sch com. exams are cmg.Booooo. still cant bring myself to study properly. i 'study' by staring at my notes n nothing ever goes into that brain of mine. have lots of things to say but due to the slowness of the sch server, the bell for the end of the recess ig gg. till than.

btw, if u dun understand my previous post. forget it. it doesnt concern u.

~ till than. happy studying~

The smile on your face
Lets me knowThat you need me

but do i?

There's a truthIn your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me

but will i?

The touch of your hand says
You'll catch meWhenever I fall

but will i?

You say it best
When you sayNothing at all

but do i?

~gah~

guai me

cant believe i'm so guai. did 4 chapters yesterday. 2 on hist n 2 on chem. have to study somemore later. planned my exam schedule( c so guai? ) n have to do at least 4 chapts a day to b able to finish in time for the exam. gah. juz pray that it'll last n that i'll hav the discipline to mug everyday. n that i'll rmb wad i mug on the day of the exam. i juz mugged for my chi lyk last wk for my ca than yesterday i couldnt even rmb them. mayb i do hav short term memory? pray not. hehe. decided to mug properly cos my mum said that if i passed all my subjects, i can play lyk siao during the hols b4 i hav to start mugging for my o's next year. boo!!! so since i didnt noe if i'll fail or not, i decided to mug properly since when my dad comes home, i hav to mug so mite as well do it properly n not waste my time. time is precious. we shd leave each day lyk the last n treasure every minute of it. haha. still trying to do that. heh.
went for the 911 concert on sat. was good. esp the video. many of us noe that there are pple out there but still refuse to "accept" (dun noe if its the rite word) it. but thru the video, we noe that these is real n we can do something for them. mayb not all of them but at least u'll b able to put a smile on a few faces? shouldnt that b worth it? n that if we do go out there, we do it not cos our frens r gg or that u think its so fun or u're bored, but cos u love them lyk He loves them n most importantly, u're doing it for Him. hav the compassion to do something for them.
GIVE THEM A PART OF OUR LIVES!!!
~ being the guai me ~

finally decided to blog. haha. mug till 1230 last nite. managed to "kick" my bro out of the rm. hehe. slept in the aft yesterday so i couldnt fall asleep at nite, so being the guai me, i went to study. n i seriously studied. i sort of understand rate of reactions but dun rrli noe how to apply it yet. hehe. n i studied 2 chapters of chi. such a sense of accomplishment. haha. but when i woke today, juz felt lyk slacking. nvm i motivate myself to study again later. studying is fun. yeah rite. haha. tell myself that next year i'll study when i come home from school n not slack lyk i usually do now. hope it'll last. hehe. gosh my bro is irritating man. he's reading tis behind my back n doesnt even mind being called kaypoh. feel lyk slapping his face when he sticks his tongue out but cicumstances prevent me from doing so. gah. sad.
went for the post synergize thing on mon, the rally was very good man. the preacher, jeff smith talked bout visions. n he manages to sing n dance while preaching n still gets the message across.the reason y lots of us r not growing is because we dun have visions. c it. say it. seize it. n the reason y it "caught my attention" - jeremy seaward preached bout it b4 at the edge n juz that afternoon, he talked bout it during the workshop. sort of lyk hitting me 3 times wif the same thing. its true but lots of time u tell pple or juz to yourself that u need to accomplish something or mayb stick to wad u believe. but the very next moment, when temptation comes your way. bam! u juz forget everything u say or even if u rmb, its so difficult to go back. i dun make promises nowadays cos i'm juz so scared that i'll never fulfill it. but i'm juz gg to try n try n try until mayb one fine day, who noes? i mite do or go in to it. y muz tis b so difficult? y? one day u say u say u'll do tis, the next its all gone. empty promises.
whose life r u mirroring? sometimes things we do unconsiously is due to the fact that we, in our mind, do things that we think is right. we mite not even noe it but its true. the decisions we make, the way we c things, i suppose its all in the mind. it controls. but will u let it control u or will u control it? Run the race n finish it. no matter wad the results.
i leave u that question. to some of u, i mite not even make sense but juz think bout it. won't u. 4 me?